(Stop)Light at the end of the tunnel

As a precursor...I am currently sitting the the airport, trying to get out of Houston. My USAirways flight out was delayed until 8-something pm. By necessity of me getting to Hot-lanta ASAP, I am now booked on a Delta flight and have a good 3 hours to kill whilst I wait. (I think I might be going through a conversion away from Star Alliance and it feels weird but good.)

Last week, I went to visit my grandma who lives in the country. Seriously the country, she has beef cattle, chickens, vegetables...the whole enchilada. It was great. Driving out there, I reminisced about my childhood and all the times I went to visit my "Nanny". There's this tiny little brick building that it actually a housing "thing" for what I can only assume is a water pump....when I was a kid, I thought it was "ye old schoolhouse". On the way out, I drove past hundreds of heads of cattle and I can remember yelling "HEY COW" out the window as a toe-headed little kid. (I was adorable.) I also drove over the old creek that my cousins and I would walk to in the summer. We would always try to steal a street sign...we had a collection.

Once I got to Nanny's house, we had a blast. We made a fresh lunch, did a puzzle (which was a thorn in my side because I lost a edge piece for 2 hours), talked, laughed, waited for the rain (which never came) and watched some great TV....namely "So You Think You Can Dance". Nanny and I both love it. Needless to say, we had a great day together.

After the show, I had to drive home....not a bad drive at all (less than 45 minutes), but a DARK drive. It's so flat out there in the country that you can look at the horizon even at 9 o'clock PM and still see a bit of the sun. That's flat. As I drove, I felt like I was playing a game of Frogger....I kept hitting huge bugs that exploded on my windshield as I tried to dodge them. Right after I thought that thought, I realized frog after frog was jumping into the road...and I was hitting them. Oh the irony. Here's the kicker:

There's this one stretch of road that is VERY VERY long. And flat. And dark. No streetlights whatsoever. I was driving with my brights on and being safe. In the distance on this road, you can see a flashing red light. Once you get there, you're pretty much back in the 'burbs. But this road is looooong. I saw this light for miles...blinking and teasing me. I forgot how long a road it was. It seemed to take FOR-EV-ERRRRR (said in Sandlot voice) to get to. I kept thinking I was there, but NO...I was not even close. Eventually I made it to the light, made a complete stop and continued on my merry way back home. I felt silly that I was so impatient - I've made that drive a hundred times. But it got me thinking....

How many times in my life do I see the "light at the end of the tunnel" and I can't wait to get there? I don't know about you, but being patient is hard and sucks at times. I know the end is there, I can see the light, but it seems to go soooo freaking slow. ("A watched pot never boils", as Nanny said that day while I impatiently waited for the tea to be ready.) But the catch is, the hope IS there. The peace IS there. And on the journey down the road, there's so much to see and experience. (Like old childhood memories, or a great Texas sunset or frogs leaping for their lives.) Maybe you can see your own flashing light. Don't forget that God has things in store for you along the drive. Yes, he has something amazing planned for you, but chances are, you can't even imagine how great it'll be until it happens and you think back and THANK GOD for the trip.

So take it from me, a fellow traveler along the road in the dark - keep driving. That light is gonna sneak up on you when you least expect it and God is gonna surprise you. Stay faithful, enjoy the ride and pay attention on the drive. Or the flight. Take the time to sit and enjoy it. Like me. Right now....I'm chilling at Starbucks in IAH enjoying the pop-emo-scene kids hanging out...enjoying a dandy laugh from God. Hope is there, it's found in Love made present and perfect on the Cross. Thank God for light and the journey.

"I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on, there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes, still I will praise you, still I will praise you." - Never Let Go

Heart Surgery

"I will give them a new heart and put a new spirit within them; I will remove the stony heart from their bodies, and replace it with a natural heart" - Ezekiel 11:19


Have you ever had heart burn? Has your heart ever skipped a beat? Has it ached?

When I was a baby, I needed heart surgery. I was born with Patent ductus arteriosus. Essentially, a hole in part of my heart wasn't closed by the time I shot out of the womb. They didn't know at first and for the first few moments of my life, I didn't gain weight...things just did not look good. I was a "miracle baby" too, on top of all of this. (My mother wasn't supposed to be able to have children....and if you think about it, God uses the women in Scripture who are called barren to bring about great things - Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Elizabeth, etc - and show his might and power and Almighty-ness. Fun fact.) So for there to be a hole in my heart and my life on the line, life wasn't looking too great. My parents had to watch me in pain, crying and all-around uncomfortable. I had the surgery and within weeks I plumped right up and was a happy and healthy baby. I got super fat. It was great. The doctor told my parents to "invite him to the wedding"...letting them know that I was going to be fine. 

The other day I was thinking about my heart surgery (in the loo of course) and while I couldn't remember the pain or the surgery or even the recovery because I was so young, I know the story well. I got to thinking about all the times our hearts hurt - whether it's a physical, emotional or spiritual hurt. I've had a handful of heart-hurts, as I'm sure you have too. In some way at some time, we've all been hurt and needed surgery. 

Doctors operated on my tiny heart when I was small and through the pain of surgery (including a wicked scar on my rib cage) and recovery, my heart was able to grow as it should have always grown and beat the way it was meant to beat. When the Lord wants to do heart surgery on us, it's going to hurt, but through the pain comes healing and He makes our hearts that may have been stony or holey to beat like new. God has always intended for us to have hearts that are hole, that know his love and can be who He wants us to be.

My heart is fine now, but I can get a little worrisome at times thinking that maybe it's not all better and I doubt the doctors at Texas Children Hospital. This is dumb and only because I'm human and need to work on trust. When we go through healing by the Divine Healer, we have to trust who he is and not who we only may see ourselves to be. While I can think that maybe my heart isn't 100% at times (and have a minor hypochondriac moment) I focus on the pain that was and not know the healing that is real. When we are being touched by our God who is bigger than any hurt or pain or wound, we need to focus on Him who is operating and not on the pain as our identity. We are HIS child, HIS patient, HIS creation. Trust HIS words and HIS love. It's the ultimate treatment and cure. 


Today, no matter where you are or what is going on in your life or your heart. God who loved you into creation and was there in all of the pain, standing with you and hanging and dying for you on the cross, wants to make your heart whole and like his Sacred Heart. Take a step right now and place your heart into His to "receive mercy and to find grace for timely help." (Hebrews 4:16) He wants to give you a natural heart.