It's a peculiar feeling, this homesickness. It's funny because I don't really feel like I even have a home. Maybe it's because I basically live out of a backpack. Maybe it's because I haven't stayed in one place for more than a few months. Whatever it is, it feels strange. "There's no place like home" - I haven't had a "home" in so long. What am I missing? Feeling alone and homesick led me to look at a picture of my old house in Houston, the one I grew up in.
I miss this house. Whenever I hear Miranda Lambert's song "The House That Built Me" I think back to my life in this house. I learned to play guitar in the living room downstairs. I was asked to the Eighth Grade Dance in the driveway by Chris...um...I forgot his last name (oops). I sat in our office upstairs and listened fondly to the dial up sound of AOL back in the day. I painted my room too many times to count. I would sneak into our kitchen late at night to bake brownies with my best friend on the weekends. I literally grew up here. When I couldn't sleep in high school, I would sit up in my bed and read Scripture.
I wish I could go back there, but I know it won't be the same. It's not that I want to go back to being 17 or anything. There is just so much of me tied up there...things that God did.
Thinking about homesickness and loneliness, it only makes sense to turn to Jesus. He felt those things too. But if I'm being honest, it's hard to break down my own pride and do it. He is "The House That Built Me".
It's Lent and now is the perfect time to look back at the old house of my heart to see what all Jesus has rebuilt time and time again. Lent is a time for restoration and revisitation. Day three was about looking at my heart and trying to get comfortable in the Home of Christ in the midst of feeling homesick.
How has Jesus been rebuilding your house? Where do you find your home?
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