Day 5 - “That's the scary part. I didn't know if I should smile, crack up, scream or run.”

This is how I feel.

Yesterday was rough. Day five.....who knew, it'd be so hard? It's only the fifth day?....Lord almighty. Do I smile, crack up, scream or run? Screaming feels good and is fun...and releases toxins. Try it in the car today.

I found myself in the Adoration Chapel yesterday afternoon - a cute little chapel by the way. There were only 6 chairs - 6 comfy chairs! - in this small intimate building with a Monstrance so close to me, I actually felt kind of uncomfortable. Please don't judge me.

I sat and prayed my Rosary and, of course, was super distracted. It always happens - every little thing pops in my head and every little thing distracts me in a room. I try to pray for whatever pops in my prayer, but nonetheless, I'm thinking about a million things. I even noticed that I was pretty much rushing through the Rosary....like I was running from praying it. No reason. I just caught myself doing it and feeling that way. I was kind of restless. This wasn't fun anymore.

As I sped up my words faster than humanly possible, I wondered why I felt so restless....and it hit me.

This is hard. Not praying the Rosary at lightning speed. Not sitting in the chapel. Not even the distractions.

This trip is hard.

I wondered why on earth is this so hard? I mean, God asked me to do it, right? "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) If this was what God called "my purpose" at this point, then why the heck was it sucking so much? Was I not loving God? (I mean, that's what I'm working on right now, but really?

And then it hit me. Again. Correction, God hit me again. Not in an abusive way. In a "Hey, stupid, what are you doing?" kinda way.

Just because God asks you to do something, doesn't mean it's going to be easy. In fact, it probably won't be easy.

Look at Scripture.

Abraham is called to sacrifice his only son after God promises that his descendents will be as numerous as the stars of the sky, taking away "his only shot" at procreation. - Not easy.

Jacob is enslaved to Laban for 14 years so he can marry the right woman for him and God eventually brings about Joseph (of the technicolor dream coat fame) - Not easy.

The prophets were prophets when no one wanted to listen. - Not easy.

Mary found out she was having God's Son. Joseph freaked out and then an angel appeared in a dream to tell him "what was up". They got married and raised the Lord of the Universe. - Not easy.

Jesus asked that His Father take "this cup" from Him if it be His Will, but accepted it and gave everything on the Cross and died. - Literally, not easy.

All things worked for good.

Just because God calls you to something doesn't mean it's going to be a cake walk. Or even fun all the time. But (and this is a biiiiigggggg but, like, Sir Mix-A-Lot big).....He never gives us anything we can't handle OR He can't bring us through.

So here we go, Big Guy. Bring me through.

I don't have a video today, but Emilio Estevez does. Let's take a trip to the Camino, shall we?